LoveSick - Week 1 - St. Peter - Pastor Tim Glende
LoveSick
Week 1 - St Peter
Pastor Tim Glende
I would venture a guess even though there are hundreds of people in here today and maybe about the same amount watching online right now, live as we speak, that there is not a single one of you who has attended more weddings in your life than I have.
Like back in the day when I was at the Seminary, we had a standing rule. Like all of our friends got invited to the party and money didn't grow on trees, back in the day. So free food and free beverage….sign me up, went to all of them. Like, my kids have been married. I've also attended some of the weddings of my kids’ friends. We've got family and cousins and all sorts of people in our life. I've been to lots of weddings just like you have but I've been probably hundreds upon hundreds of 92 wedings In my 18 years here. Simply, you can't beat it unless you are part of a family tree that has like a hundred cousins.
And you all go to every wedding.
And here's the thing that I've learned about weddings, Like they're all about love.
Like there's a whole lot of things that take place that day that are centered around a man and a woman and their relationship. Their vows, their promises to love one another. But then, there are people who gather, who love them, who care about them, who, who know them?
There are parts of that evening, that celebration that that allow people to help encourage the couple who's getting married and the love that they have for each other. Like I've heard some amazing speeches from maid of honors and best men and fathers of the groom or the bride. I've heard some really memorable ones. That might not have much to do with love, but they're great.
I've seen couples on the dance floor for the couple dance, I'm getting older. I've been married a lot longer. I get to stay and dance with my life longer than a lot I ever had before. But I've never won the opportunity to speak into microphone and give my advice. My best tip on love to the couple like Grandpa or Grandma does.
They help them understand to find love a little bit. I bless them.
And then Holly, I normally like to stay at least this long, we don't stay till the end for at most weddings because we don't necessarily see what happens at the end.
But in the dance when it begins, the couple comes on the Dance Floor and it's their song.
Like the song that they pick, that is meaningful to them, that defines their relationship, that helps clarify the message, maybe the definition that they have, the feelings that are front and center on that day on what their love is, and what their love looks like, or what their love is, all about like love songs. On a wedding day, your song on your wedding day. Speaks to you.
A sense of message to them.
A lot of people actually spend a lot of time picking that song.
You know, why? Because they don't want to get it wrong.
There are so many options to choose from. Like, if you do the research and someone actually has for you on music and the percentage of songs that are out there in our world today, the top 40 ones, especially but songs in general, the research from the 60s, all the way into the into the 20s has proven and doesn't really change that. About 70 percent of all songs, top 40 songs and beyond have some kind of theme about romantic relationship. Friendship, love
Like, take your genre, take your pick, whether it's hair ballads or its country, whether it's back in the 60s or it's Taylor Swift, like everyone has their famous love song.
And I think there's something that we can learn from that what people the time they spend and picking a song that speaks of their love. If our world that loves music and all most of what it listens to has some kind of message about love and relationships and what it looks like. To help us. Truly understand why we need a reset perhaps today in the start of this series with our definition of love.
Like, for a lot of people how they define love is found in the words or lyrics of a famous song.
For a lot of people how they define laws.
Is through the lens of the people that they do life with. That can be good, but that can be dangerous.
Like so. There's a lot that can be found in what love is and what love isn't in music and in our social circles. But today we need to do is, is really dig into this topic of defining, love properly.
Because music reinforces it in our lives but it might not help us define it correctly. The Beatles song. All you need is love is so true in our lives but the sad reality. Too furious, understand it. We all know we need it. But do we understand it? Do we Define it properly? Because if we get the definition wrong, We're going to have some broken relationships, we're gonna have marriages that are merely surviving and not thriving. We're gonna have friendships that may not work. We're going to be a part of a church Community that truly doesn't grasp the depth and the height and the width of what love should be in the lives of In our lives. So that we can bless the lives of others. Like we need to get this, right.
Like if God says, the greatest of these things is love.
Then we gotta Define it, right?
But before we get into that definition today, that's all that this week is going to be next week. You got to come back. Like if you're looking for tips on marriage, applying this definition like the next few weeks, applying this in your relationships with others in your neighborhood. In work in your marriage and your home with your kids. Like come back the next two weeks. We're going to get real. We're gonna apply it in very clear ways. But today we're going to do the definition Uh, so that we have the foundation in place.
Which is why I want you to think about what your definition is.
Like, how do you define love? Like I left the blank blank. I'm not going to fill it in right now. I'm going to give you one in a few minutes. I'm going to hopefully answer the question, what is love from God's perspective? So we can see the definition, see how God lived it and and have that as the foundation going forward. But before we get there, how do you define it?
Like don't write down what Pastor Tim wants you to write down. There's no wrong answer here. It's your definition. How do you define love?
Like, my guess is in a few minutes. One of the phrases that I will use words that I will highlight for. You might have popped up as you wrote it down or as you thought about it mentally.
Like some of your definitions of love had the word feeling in it.
It's actually what you'd find in the dictionary. One of the first definitions you'll find is an intense feeling of deep affection.
Some of you might have written down the word emotion.
Like beloved is a strong emotion, some people's definition, and it's on, you know, that spectrum of all those things, it's the positive side. You got love, you got like, you got, you got dislike. You got hate like love is a strong emotion, on the Spectrum of emotions and In relationships.
Some of you may have written down this. It's a feeling that drives a behavior. It's a feeling that Determines an action.
Like, I have this feeling oh I want to follow up with that response.
It can also take the negative if I don't feel Loved. Why behave in a, in that kind of way, love can determine an action. Some people might have used this word, have you? Maybe thought of law as a strong intense desire. Like you desire something that's love, like there's a passion for in today's world, a lot of people define love this way. They define love as acceptance.
You can see based on all those feelings and emotions. Maybe you're like me. Do you remember the Schoolhouse Rock Days? Love is a verb. The verbs have actions.
Is an action. Is it a feeling? Is it emotion? Is it a passion? Like, is it acceptance like What is love?
Like I wouldn't be shocked if you're confused, have been confused. Maybe haven't gotten it right? Maybe aren't so sure.
So whether you have it right or not, whether you maybe need a tweak it a little bit, maybe, you know, it, you just need to apply it. I don't know where you are at in defining, love, which is why I'm glad you're here today. And I pray, you'll come back so that we can get the definition right. We're gonna apply it over the next few weeks.
And help us do that today. We're going to turn to God's word. We're going to turn to 1 John chapter 4. And here's what you're going to find in the Bible. Like we as Americans we who speak the English language have this one word that describes all those things. Feelings, emotions, strong, desire, passion, like, All the things that that love is or could be.
The Greeks had eight words. Ancient Greeks. Had eight words for love. Did you know that? Eight different words.
Because they understood that each word had a unique place in unique relationships because they each had unique definitions.
So we get to see which word God uses to for us in our relationships. What we're just God use to guide and encourage us with in fact four of those eight are actually found in the Bible in New Testament. Like the word we're going to talk about today, Agape love. You've heard Pastors use that word before but there are three others “storge” is the word for love. It's oftentimes the compassion, empathetic love that's in the family bond like you have a bond with blood. Therefore that's storge love like no offense. I love my kids I'm always gonna love my kids. You should love your kids, we love our kids, kids love their parents and things can go epically bad. Fortunately, in this side of Heaven, but that kind of love is is there by Blood. You got Philia. That's friendship love, it's reciprocal. Love like you do something nice for me. I do something nice for you.
Friends. It's a give and take. It's a back and forth. Love when when you stop giving I will too. That's a different kind of love.
Then you have your love. It's the sensual love. It's the intimate love. It's love in marriage. In the Bible. It's the fireworks. Love.
I guess the love you had for your wife. When you start walking down the aisle.
Sometimes when she looks at you and goes.
Like is the feelings? It's good. It's love but it's not what God defines love as in the Bible when it comes to all sorts of different relationships and how we apply it. Like they're good. They're a part of it, I don't want to lose that, but but over the series, we're going to talk about Agape love. Literally that is a Greek word that was universal love, but In today's world. Oftentimes it's not separated from God like The Greek word for love. In God Agape, go hand in hand.
And that's what we're going to find as we unpacked. First, John chapter 4, and who better to give us the definition of love? What is love? Answer the question. Then the disciple that the Bible says Jesus loved He literally has that title. In the Gospel of John.
To turn to and listen to the one who was inspired to author and pen. The most famous words in all of scripture, John 3, verse 16 “For God So Loved the world.
Like that, disciple that Jesus loved the disciple, who wrote that word about God. So loving the world. His first letter is filled with, with chapters and words and sections and encouragement about love.
First chance after four, perhaps is one of the longest sections. In all scripture, it talks about the love of God and love for others. And how this all intermingles what this looks like, what it means for us. And so we're going to talk today about what is love. Answering the question next week. We're going to talk about what love does in action. Third week. We're going to talk about, uh, love and the difficulties and challenges that, that it brings when we have this definition because life is messy, and life is hard, and people are difficult. We're going to get into all those things, the practical, but for today, Let's define it. 1 John chapter 4 verse 8, we start with this because it's important to the definition. Why do we let God Define? Love, why are we looking at God's definition? Not the world's definition. Not what culture says or what your friends say or what music would tell you it is not what Taylor Swift. And love story is all about. Like God is love. First John, chapter 4 verse 8 is in Greek. Easy way to think of this word, is an equal sign.
God equals love. Love equals God.
That God gets to be the authoritative voice on love because God is love.
If you want to know what love is. God is love and love is God. We look at God. If you want to know what love looks like, look at how God acts look at what God has done. If you want to understand love better. Understand God more like God equals love. That's John's point. He's setting the stage for the definition Like, he's giving you the why before he gives you the, what of the definition? Why does what follows serve as the definition because God is love.
And so with that in mind, I'm going to give you the definition first and then use the next two verses. The next Two verses are over three parts to help you understand it. There's three parts to this working definition that we want to give you here at 922 as we launch into this series. Here's love and what it equals before you might have written down your answer above. See how well you did based on what I would tell you, the Bible says as a great way to remember love, love is doing what's best.
No matter who.
No matter what?
If you've heard it before, that's because Pastor Mike has used this on several occasions. I want to give him the credit for it. Kind of put this together. Uh, and we're both using it this week doing. What's best doing? What God says is best? No matter who it is and no matter what it costs doing, what's best? No matter who, no matter what all three are important to getting love, right? If you don't do what's best
You're going to be lovesick and not love healthy. If you Don't love no matter who there's going to be a whole lot of issues that are real, like, if No matter who it is. Is not applied properly. We're going to miss the boat on. I'm doing. What's best by God's standards for all, no matter what the cost sometimes loving his heart and it does cost a lot.
And God wants you and me to understand that the definition of love Agape, love what God has called us to do, what God, lays out for for marriages, but God lays out in Christian relationships with God, lays out in our world, with others, aren't even Believers. It's doing what's best, no matter who it is.
No matter what?
So, before we get into it and I allow you to see it Like, that's the definition and if God's the authoritative Uh, person on that definition. Give me the biblical proof that. That's the definition. I will. But that's what you think about that. When you look at that as your definition of love, how did you
But you wrote measure up.
There are the things about that, you don't like,
Like, sometimes at weddings, I hear that advice, love. What is your definition of love? What is love? Love should never be having to say you're sorry.
I hope you don't mess up. Like I thought your point, yeah.
But I'm a big train wreck. If I've never apologized in my life, my wife would have not wanted to be around me like doing, what's best. No matter who, no matter what, comes at a cost, like owning it like, There's a pricing involved in love.
Sometimes they can choose the who it's hard. Doing what's best?
Not always.
So let's see, it through God's lens. If that's our definition, Pastor Tim, prove it to me, if God's authoritative on it, let's look at God. What is love? I would argue with you and what do you keep in mind? And a lot of people push back about love's not a feeling loves an action. I'm going to tell you that, when you put love together and you talk about the love of God, God and what he did is definitely going to be an action, but God is definitely someone who had feelings and emotions for you. And for me as we consider this definition, Like, love isn't outside of emotion. But it isn't driven by it. Is informed by it. We need to keep that. So let's look at first, John chapter 4 following verse 8. God is love. So here's John part one. This is how God's love for us was revealed. In other words, here's what love looks like. Defining it. If it's a picture in the dictionary, John's saying here it is. God has sent his only begotten son into the world so that we might live through him.
Love is doing what's best with John tells us. What how God defines it is? How God's love was revealed for us. God, sent his only son into the world so that we might live through him. God did what was best.
He acted like love does.
Like love acts, love is an action. According to how God defines it, how God lived. It, how God practice it and God's action was sending his one and only son into the world. If love is doing what's best God, did, what was best for you? And for me in sending, and he sent the best?
He sent the perfect Son of God, his only begotten son, his son from eternity, like he did, what was best? He sent the best, Jesus Christ, his son, his one, and only son in order that you and I might get the best. That you and I might live through him. God did what was best by sending the best so that we might get the best. Love does what is best?
God knew that he had to do it because it was the best, the only way.
That you and I could be saved and have life.
Because he wanted for you, and for me, what was best? Life.
See, as you get the definition from God, our eyes start to be opened as to what that truly means doing what God says is best.
Love isn't doing what's always easy.
Like, do you think it was easy for God to send us one and only son.
But he did because he knew it was best.
Do you think Jesus didn't truly grasp the worst of what was going to happen on the cross.
But he understood that going to the cross was Doing the best.
So that you and I might have the best.
That's love part one, definition love is doing what is best, God, laid it out, God revealed it. That's how love was revealed now. John's going to go on in the next part to help us answer number two, but before we do Love. Does what is best no matter who?
Like God did what was best. In spite of who? In spite of you.
Like and here's where I love. Oftentimes gets hard. We can buy into doing what's best? As long as we buy into and are okay with
And feel good about the who.
I asked my wife or her definition of love and she had a great definition. And I'm like, but who are you thinking of? She's like, well, I have a who, my kids. My close family and friends, I'm like,
But is that definition worked for them? No. Okay.
Like sometimes it's easy to do the best when the who is them.
God says. Love, does the best no matter who, in spite of you.
This is love not that we have loved God but that he loved us.
Like, oftentimes in our world, we hear love has strings attached to it in our world. Like, I'll love you as long as you do blank, I'll love you as long as you do. Your part of the chores. I'll love you as long as you don't say a harsh word to me. I'll love you. As long as you're nice to me, I'll love you and return and all these things.
The who?
In our lives is sometimes hard when that person. We don't feel as worthy. For deserving.
Like they don't measure up.
God didn't love you, do his best because of who you are. Do his best for the people who are the best or the better ones.
No, it's not that you were so lovable that God loved you that he did his best. By nature, you and I are unlovable by nature, you and I are sinful by Nature. You and I are not lovers of God, but enemies of God understand that by nature when God considered doing, he did it. No matter who.
It wasn't because You brought anything to the table because you loved him first. But, this is love God's definition he did what was best?
No matter who it is sinful.
Human beings. Enemies by Nature. This is love that he loved us. That's God.
That's Agape, love.
Like Agape love is sacrificial love. Agape love is selfless, love Agape. Love is you first love. Agape love. Maybe that you wrote. That definition down Agape. Love is love for the unlovable.
Like when someone is unlovable, they've done something, so horrible, and so wrong. And yet, it's still acts, and it still does that's Agape love. That's the love of God. That's the love. God calls us to to have in relationships, like marriage in relationships in our homes in relationships with other Christians in relationships in our world with unbelievers like God calls us to that love.
Like, it's easy for me to love my kids and my grandkids, it's easy. To love my spouse. It's not as easy. To love. People who are my neighbors, it gets really harder to love people who, who don't believe the same things that I do or live in a way that is different than I do or push all the wrong buttons, that cause me to be frustrated like, you understand? No matter who.
I think not just the person that you bond with at work, but that one that you wish didn't work there.
Love does what's best? No matter who it is, no matter what it costs. Like God, proved no matter who by loving you and me sinners when we were dead in our sins. He did. What was best? Not because we brought value to the table or because we were worth it. His love didn't act because we had done good enough.
In spite of who. In spite of the cost. Look at the last part of 1 John, chapter 4. He sent his son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Like the cost of God and loving, you and me the cost to Jesus in doing what was best the cost. And the price that had to be paid to endure the very pain of hell being separated from God. The very wrath of God that Jesus Christm endured.
The cost and price tag was beyond our understanding.
And yet, he loved in spite of the cost
And yet, in love, Jesus himself went to the cross in spite of what he knew. It would mean,
Despite of who you were and who I was and who all people were by Nature. Because God wanted, what is best?
Eternity.
New Life. Peace with God. And so he sent his son to be the atoning. Sacrifice for our sins. Take that definition. We started with love, is doing what's best no matter who, no matter what and view it through the lands of God in action. His definition, if he's the authority on it, let God be the one who defines it. Love equals God. Did, what was best for Sinners for you and for me for every person who's walked to face the planet Earth, in spite of the cost.
Like God modeled it. God lived it he gets to define it. So when we define it over the next few weeks, doing what is best, no matter who, no matter what, see it through the lens of God, living that definition modeling it, carrying it out.
And you and I the ones who are the recipients of all the benefits.
Like seeing it differently through God's lands as game-changing.
And God wants us to apply that kind of love that Agape. Love in our lives of Faith because here's what he wants for our homes, our marriages, our relationships, our friendships, our community, our world, he wants people to see the amazing love of God so that they can get the very best from God. One day in heaven.
The Apostle Paul understood this in Romans 5 verse 8, I think of the passage wrong on the, in the bulletin. But God demonstrated his own love for us in this. It's an action. Doing what's best God demonstrated his own love for us in this, here's God's best while we were still sinners Christ died for us.
Further sinners, he died for us. Like we're gonna do some hard work over the next few weeks because a lot of our relationships are love-sick and not thriving.
There are marriages that needs a tune-up in their others that need an overhaul. There there are friendships and relationships and Christian connections and and how we live in our community that we need to see differently and carry out through this definition. But for today, I pray that you can go home and as we build on this over the next few weeks it's founded on what love is through God's perspective. All we need is love. Amen to that. And what God wants. For all of us to do is to understand it properly. Doing what's best what God says, is best? No matter who
Not just for them. Not just for you, no matter who, no matter what the cost.
But in this week ahead, before we get to the application, can I give you some homework?
Like Jude who wrote a one-chapter book, right? At the end of the Bible writing to Christians said these words near the end. He said, but you dear friends by building yourselves up in the most. Holy Faith and prayed in the Holy Spirit. Here's his call to action, keep yourselves in God's love. Keep yourselves in God's love. Like if you want to live this definition, if you want to appreciate the definition, if you don't want to get confused in the world in which we live by so many different definitions. If feelings or emotions or the fireworks, sometimes, Cloud your judgment on love and should I or should not like to help you define it, right? And live it. Live that definition you got to keep yourself in it.
So, be in the word this week.
Like maybe just read 1 John chapter 4 over and over and over again, to keep yourself in God's love what it looks like how we defined it. What What that means. We're going to talk about that the next few weeks.
Maybe read Psalm 103 every day this week because as you do you'll get to see God on display. What it? What God doing is best for you with spiritual blessings looks like keeping yourself in his love that way.
Or maybe this week.
Instead of listening, just to your favorite. Radio station or genre. That's not Christian.
You find one, two, three, four, five. Christian songs that have love in it.
Talk about the love of God.
Like Christian music understands the same concept that the world and musicians. And songwriters have that love drives people. Love its the center of a song is so vital and important. But you know what, while the world gets it? They understand that all we need is love doesn't Define it right all the time. Almost always in Christian music. You'll see love to find properly because it begins with God. It talks about God doing his best, no matter who.
No matter what?
It's like, instead of listening to But in song again you can do that. That'd be good. Maybe you listen together to a song that reminds you about the amazing deep wide high love of God.
Which is why today instead of me giving the amen. I want our band to do it.
Like, because sometimes music speaks to our heart, reminds us of truths. And helps us apply them.
