LoveSick - Week 2 - The CORE - Pastor Mike Novotny
LoveSick
Week 2 -The CORE
Pastor Mike Novotny
Well, good morning, happy Sunday, everyone. Welcome back to week number two of our series LoveSick.
Real biblical love is really, really good. And also really, really hard.
At last week we kicked off this brand new series about the Biblical definition of love. That's not just a feeling it's not something you fall into or fall out of oh actually last week if you were here, I said I'd give you a pop quiz. Are you ready for it? Did you study?
Oh, none, concerned.
If you know, can you say with me, real love is doing what's best no matter who and no matter what. Yeah, that's the definition of Biblical love. It's doing what's best? Not just a feeling, it's intentionally choosing what's best for another person that might be tough. Love it might be tender love doing what's best? No matter who, maybe they're loving you. Well, maybe they're not. Maybe it's easy, maybe it's not, maybe they deserve it. Maybe not, doesn't matter what people call, love does what's best. No matter who and no matter what, no matter what it costs you, no matter what sacrifice, you have to make, this is what God is for us. He does, what's best no matter who you are and no matter what it costs. Uh, in second place was a bulletin that I found after church last week. Someone left a bulletin behind, one of you actually, and the bulletin said, what is love question mark, and one of you wrote in pen. What is love Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.
I see for a good answer, but now we learned. This definition, I hope you can memorize it. Biblical Love is doing what's best no matter who, no matter what. And I'm here to tell you and I bet some of you have experienced this that that kind of love is so good.
Have you ever, um, had a friend, or a group of friends that loved each other like that?
Or did any of you grow up in a home without a mom like that or a dad like that, or a mom AND a dad like that? Never attended a church where it wasn't just about like my preference and my opinion, and what I want. But people seriously tried to put each other first and love each other. Well, if you've ever tasted and seen real Biblical love in action, you know that there are a few things in the universe. Better than loving and being loved.
And how amazing is it? If you're dating here today or you're married? Instead of everyone just doubling down on how I feel and what I want, we're seriously trying to have a you-first fest for the most common question. Under our roof is, how can I help? Do you feel loved and respected?
And when two people make that commitment to love each other and do, what's best a marriage is everything that God intends it to be.
Or never been part of a church where, you know, everyone is about imitating Jesus, sacrificing my preference, my opinion to serve you, to love you. Jesus actually said that the world would know that we are as followers if we could just do that.
To Humble ourselves to exalt other people to serve each other in sacrificial love, real Biblical Love is so, so good. I hope you have lots of it in your life, really. The point of this sermon series is to increase the amount of it in your life. It's so good.
But the very first sentence I said to you today and it is so Hard.
I think the reason that Biblical Love is so rare is because in real life Is actually, really hard.
To do what's best for another person, no matter who they are, no matter what? That, that's the part where the sacrifice comes in that makes Love a rather difficult choice. It may be five percent of the time. Um, love is natural. It's what you wanted, anyway, but very often when we try to connect with friends or we go to school or we come to church or we're dating someone or married or raising a kid or being raised by a mom or dad, very often. There are differences that require love. To sacrifice.
Might think of a friend.
Your best buddy is moving to a new place. Um, to love him to do, what's best to show up? I mean, instead of just like chilling, Uh, watching sports on a Saturday. You're going to be on one end of the sofa sleeper, which for some strange reason, he kept in the basement and you're going to try to be twisting it up the stairs. Your back's gonna hurt. It's gonna be frustrating to love him to show up. It requires a sacrifice.
Let's imagine one of your best girlfriends is going through a tough time, a separation or a divorce. Just mental health isn't in a good spot. You might be having a great day but to love her well to do what's best? You're gonna have to give up maybe a joyful comfortable day and just get down to where she is and listen and love and empathize.
I love. Sacrificial.
We start dating someone and, and you get married. And at first, the differences are charming. She's such a free spirit. He's so organized. I love him. But after I don't know, about 18 months, the differences go from charming to annoying. Have any experienced this and It's not like pounds on each other to love each other. Well, to speak each other's love languages requires a sacrifice. Maybe you would rather just sit down instead of taking a walk and talking about every emotion, but to get out of your comfort zone and meet him or meet her. Where she's at? That's not a simple thing. If our church is going to be a loving place, you might be one of those introverts who likes to sneak in quietly and just sit and worship and go home.
But to do, what's best for the people who make that bold choice to come to church. For the first time means, it's not about you.
It might be easier or more comfortable but to welcome people to be hospitable in love, you might have to sacrifice your comfort zone.
If you're like me and you spend 23 and two-thirds hours of the day, just talking with your mouth, open to love people to be a good pastor, friend, spouse. I have to do what's difficult for me. I have to listen more than I talk. I have to empathize more than I express. See, no matter where we go. Love is costly and sacrificial. And that's why it's really, actually, difficult in real life to experience love.
It's really good without a doubt.
It's actually, really difficult.
That's why I was thinking the other day, if you and I are going to do this, right? If we're going to have more love at our schools and in this church, in our relationships, and in our homes, there's actually three things that we need.
And if you're taking notes at home or if you have a bulletin in your hand, I'd love you to open it up. I want to tell you the three things I want to talk about today that I think are needed to kind of get us to a place of more and more love. Here are the three things love actually requires obligation.
We can't make it optional because your comfort will win out. No, God's got to push us. Oblige us. Sometimes forces us to get out of that comfort zone. Love requires obligation. Second, love requires salvation,
It's actually so hard you and I are going to mess it up a million different times. We need God to save us, love us, forgive us, help us. And finally, Real love requires motivation.
In those moments where, you know, it's not easy, you know, it's what God wants you to do. That you would find within your own heart. The motivation to do what's difficult and put in other person first, and do what's best? If you and I are going to increase our love to cure. This love sickness of humanity. We need obligation, salvation and motivation, which I learned is all found in a single verse in the Bible.
Some people might know that 2000 years ago Jesus of Nazareth picked 12 men to be his Apostles. One of them was named John. And John ended up writing five of the 27 books that make up the New Testament in the Bible and his specialty, if you would read all of them, is the concept of love .
John was so close to Jesus. He saw the most amazing love, he heard His teachings. And so, in a lot of John's writings he unpacks exactly what love is and I discovered and one of the most loving sections that John ever wrote in 1 John chapter 4 there's one verse that actually checks, all three boxes, it reminds us of the obligation and the Salvation and the motivation.
That's why today, I don't want to share. 50 Bible passages with you. Are five just one.
Because if you understand this one verse, you're going to find the three things that you and I need to love more.
So let me share this first with you. It's from 1 John chapter 4. You can find on the screen. You have a Bible in your hands. Open up to verse 11. Where Jesus's friend says this.
Dear friends, since God so loved us.
We also ought to love one another.
An epic verse actually would you read it out loud with me right now already? Dear friends, since God so loved us. We also ought to love one another. If I give you three seconds, could you find the Parts of love?
Let me help. I see obligation in. The end of that phrase. Where John says, we also ought to love one another. We ought.
Now, don't get it twisted. Sometimes, in the English language, we use the word ought as a suggestion. You ought to try this new restaurant in town you don't have to, but if you have time, I think that you should. But actually, if you look, we look up the word in an English dictionary, the literal meaning, the original meeting is actually much stronger than that. It requires more than an option. It pushes towards obligation.
And in the original Greek that John used about 2000 years ago, the obligation is intense. In fact, I opened up one of my Greek dictionaries and I found transitions like this ought is something obligatory, necessary, indispensable. A must or a moral requirement.
John is saying that in Christianity, love is not some optional add-on.
It's not part of the bonus package of our faith. It's not like the grad school level of Christianity. No, at the very heart of the Christian phase is love. It's a duty. It's something that must.
And I think that John was so strong with his language. You have to love. You ought to love. You need to love, you must love one another. Because in his day there were the seeds of a brand, new religion that were just starting to take off and it freaked John out.
Let me show you a picture. I'm back in 1945. A farmer in Egypt right along the Nile River discovered that an ancient, ancient manuscript that dated all the way back to the 3rd Century, the 200s A.D and then to the second century, the 100th A.D. almost all the way back to the days of John in the first century. The late 90s, these have come to be called the Gnostic Gospels. You ever heard of that?
These gospels that weren't in the Bible, the Gospel of Thomas, the Gospel of the Cross, the gospel of Mary, they were written a hundred or two hundred years after Jesus. They're not part of the original scripture and they promoted like this weird version of Christianity, that mentioned the name of Jesus. But with one very great distinction.
You see the gnostics like their name, kind of sounds like specialize in knowledge.
They believe that if you know the right things about God.
If you've like, discovered this new age a kind of transcendental mysteries of the divine. If here in your head there's some deep spiritual connection, well, that's all that matters.
And many gnostics said, if all that matters is the knowledge we have then, I guess, what doesn't matter is the stuff that we do.
Some Gnostic said as long as your head is, right you can do whatever you want with your hands or your words, you can go wherever you want with your feet.
And you can see why that would have been incredibly popular.
In fact, you can study the history of Gnosticism and Christianity fought each other for people's hearts for centuries.
You gotta admit, Gnosticism was maybe the more appealing of the two. Because wait, I can have a connection with the Divine. I can be a deeply spiritual person, and I don't gotta love that guy from work. I'm in.
But I don't have to sacrifice. I can walk by someone who's in need and poor and don't have to reach into my pockets. I can keep it all for myself.
In narcissism was like an early ancient version of you, do you?
And God's cool, too.
It was super appealing because there was no repentance required. No obligation, no necessity. And when people started to jump on the Gnostic bandwagon, John picked up his pen, he said. No, no, no.
No, I walked with Jesus. I talked with Jesus, I learned from Jesus, and this is not at all right? The real Jesus said, read all of 1 John. If you have 15 minutes today, he's saying there's no one who is born of God that continues in sin, that there's no one who follows God without real repentance in his heart. John insists in the strongest terms you ought to. You are obliged to. You have to love one another.
Now we don't talk about Gnostics much these days, but can I ask a personal question?
Are you ever tempted by that same idea that, yeah, as long as I believe in God here or I trust in Jesus here, I don't really have to do the stuff out here as one of your circumstances or maybe an explanation, why? This part of the Bible is hard. It becomes an excuse to not even try to do the part of the Bible. That's I just think about the relationship do's and don'ts that the Bible promotes. it's actually super clear. Children, obey your parents.
Honor your father. Honor your mother.
Do everything without grumbling or complaining, parents.
Train up your children in the Lord. Fathers do not exasperate your children. Don't provoke them to anger for a reason. Don't be harsh with them.
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.
A husband should love his wife as he cares for his own body. When you're hungry, how fast you try to meet that need in the same way. A husband should try to meet his wife's needs. Just that fast.
Ephesians 5 33. A wife must respect her husband, Ephesians 5:22 wives submit to your husbands in everything.
Maybe, think about your own situation, your mother, your father, your son, your daughter, your husband, your wife, and it's messy, and it's imperfect. And, and I get that.
But has the explanation become the excuse? Has the situation, put an asterisk on John's teaching and made you think that you can be Gnostic, that you don't have to?
You don't have to try to love her or him.
Or think about people who are poor.
Any of us here today and in our community, yeah, the more I read the Bible and the older I get as a Christian, Jesus had such a huge heart for the impoverished.
Give to the poor, he said. But I got to ask, have you come up with some like, twisted version of Jesus’ teaching where you don't really have to do that.
Yeah, he would use it on cigarettes and alcohol and drugs, I don't have to give anything. To anyone, they're probably misusing it. They probably made some mistakes, you got to reap what your sow, right? And suddenly I don't have to.
Or think about the love that God wants us to show to fellow Christians. That's why he said, let's not give up meeting together as some people are in the habit of doing.
Basically, let's not skip church, he said that.
But we have all these asterisks about sports schedules and hobbies and all this stuff. It's almost like an optional add-on, if I want to, if I can get there.
And John, he says, no. No, no, it's not optional. The Christian faith, you don't take Jesus's teaching, like a suggestion. He's the Lord and the king. And if he commanded no it's it's not easy. And yes it's going to be messy and imperfect but please John says do not become Gnostic that thinks an explanation has turned into an excuse.
See, John experienced that and he knows that love can change the world.
And he refuses to give in and give us some easier path that will rob us of a better blessing. And so he says do, don't, you must, you ought, your friend since God so loved us. John teaches. We also ought to love one another.
That's the obligation.
The high calling of Christianity to obey God's Commandments and to love as he first loved us.
And I think John knew because he was human too. How deeply we would need to hear about our Salvation, too.
Did you catch it? Let me take you back to verse 11 where John said? Dear friends since God so loved us comma. we also ought to love one another.
It was unfair, I started today with the obligation, but John actually starts with the Salvation. With what God did to save us.
In fact, you can layer beautiful news, one on top of the other. He said, God loved us.
It's a profound thought that God, who needed nothing, He loved us.
Us with our struggles and our sins and our weaknesses and our excuses. He didn't let any of that stop him. He loved us. In fact, John says he so loved us. So as a reference back to verse 10, where John says, this is love that God so loved us. He sent Jesus, to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. He can just feel for you, he did what was best for you. Jesus sacrificed everything for you so that you could be clean and forgiven the object of God's love and affection so that God could look at you and use these same words, dear friends.
In the original Greek, dear friends, is literally connected to the word love. It's dear, beloved ones.
You know, enemies of God, not strangers of God. No i's his face lights up. When he sees people who are this loved. John says once, twice, three times, dear friends, since God so loved us before the obligation he gets. The Salvation because John knows we need it every single day.
And that's the thing I really, really wish I wouldn't have forgotten.
So this past week, I got to do a whole bunch of really cool interviews for a book called Taboo, I think 13 podcasts, radio shows. YouTube stuff. It was all going, great. Until one time when I forgot to say one very important thing.
If any of you ever like driven home after you got into a spiritual conversation and thought, why didn't I say that?
It's, it's happened to me, we're talking about these really tough, you know, difficult topics, the obligation to love God's standards for sexuality and marriage and divorce, and politics and all the rest. And I think the hostess of the program kind of knew it was heavy that we struggled to do this. Well so she threw me like the slowest pitch in podcasting history. She says, “ Pastor Mike, ok, if someone is listening right now and they just need some encouragement, what do you want them to know about your ministry?
And I said, see if you can find the problem with my answer. I said, you know in our church and in our ministry, we are all about being full of grace and truth just like Jesus.
Like, we're trying to preach the truth. We're not ripping pages out of the Bible, or skipping the verses that are hard to do. We talk about tough topics because Jesus was full of truth and we want to be full of truth too and we're trying to be full of grace.
Trying to speak the truth in love. We're trying to call people to repentance because of kindness. We're trying to be patient and meet people where they're at and be humble. We're trying to be like Jesus, full of grace and truth.
And one of the problems with that answer, the one thing I forgot about was that, “What's your ministry all about.” We're about being bold and truthful and when we're about being nice to other people, Oh, that's nice. What about Jesus? As soon as like the sentence was out of my mouth. I thought, oh no. No, is this a lie? Can I go back and say this differently?
Because John knows as good as that is as an important as it is to be full of grace and Truth. What matters so much more than the way that we behave and that we love is the way that God first loved us.
John says it right here, since God so loved us. He refuses to skip it or minimize it. He actually specializes in a dear friends since God. So loved us. We also ought to love one another.
Here to tell you today, don't be like me. Don't skip the stuff that matters so much to Jesus.
There's a lot of stuff for us to do and change.
To love a little bit better to forgive. A little bit faster to be patient in those moments and kind and forgiving. Do this, don't do that. That matters in the Christian faith but it's not all that matters is in fact, it's not the most important thing that matters and John knows it's not just obligation to do what's right? It's the salvation from the God who made us, right?
I pray that as you leave here today you never doubt, question or forget that God so loved us.
Because, if you remember the Salvation, before the obligation you'll actually discover the motivation.
That's the last thing I want to share with you today. And if you catch the motivation in verse 11, He said “dear friends since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
He doesn't just say two statements. So we ought to love each other. God loved us. He actually connects them with words like “since”. And also since God did this, here's the cause, the effect, the natural result is that we also ought to love one another.
You know, John could have motivated us in different ways. He could have used the carrot.
Like, oh, if you love each other, life will be better and your families will be stronger and the world will be better. He could have said that.
Or he could have used the stick. As if you don't love and if you don't repent and you try to just live your own life, well, you're going to stand before God who will judge you, he could have said that too.
But it said, John's trying to motivate us to live more loving lives with a gospel. Since God so loved, therefore, we also ought to love each other.
It's kind of like this amazing prop, I created for this moment of the sermon.
It's like the jankiest prop I ever made in preaching history. So I took a coin. I wrapped it in athletic tape and on one side. Can you see it in the back? I drew a big heart.
This represents your obligation to love. Love the person. Next to you, in front of you, behind you, your best friend, your worst enemy, husband's blood, your wife’s, respect your husbands, here's what God obliges you to do as a Christian.
And another side that coin is the cross. God loved you. God forgave you. Jesus sacrificed himself for you. John actually knows that the love we show for other people and the love that God has for us they're not two separate concepts. They're actually two sides of the same coin.
And so, yes, God calls you to live like this. Which is why he first decided to do this.
And the more you think about this, the more your heart is stirred, to do this. And you'll try and maybe he'll do it. Well maybe he'll mess up which brings you back to this for forgiveness and when God keeps loving and forgiving you, it kind of makes you want to do this and all of Christianity ready for the Christian Life.
Day after day. I'm gonna try to love you. Thank you, God, for loving me so much, I love you. Thank you, God for forgiving me. I'm gonna try to love him. God, thank you that you loved me. We strive to this supernatural, uncommon, difficult kind of love because we have a God who did the most uncommon thing in sending His Son. This is how the Bible talks about love and not with a fist, carrot or a stick. But with the cross. The one and only son, the love of God in Christ Jesus.
So, let me flip this. And see what Bible pastors we come up with?
God, so loved us.
Therefore, we ought to love one another.
We love because he first loved us. The Lord's Prayer. Do you remember it? Father, forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. Christ’s Love compels us. Not to live for ourselves. His grace teaches us to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions. The Bible is trying to change you not with a carrot or a stick. But from the inside out with the supernatural, undeserved amazing love of God. So, let me give you a tip. The next time, you're in a situation where you find it rather difficult to love.
Where you just want to sit on the couch and watch the game? And you kind of hear her doing some stuff and you hear the Holy Spirit's whispering, get up, put down the screen.
Those are the times that you have to think of God. You got up to save me.
And sit on your throne in heaven. Like you got up and you came down to serve.
And you're kind of annoyed with that person from work, or from school, and it’d be so easy just to say something, snarky, you look up.
And say, God. I must have been so annoying to you.
Doing my thing, living my life. But instead of shaking your head and wagging your finger, you gave your best and you’re so patient. You're so kind and you were so good.
When you see someone who honestly doesn't deserve your sacrifice or your love, you might be right.
But then you look up and think, I didn't deserve your love, God. Or your sacrificing yet you did. Let the gospel the love first given in Christ Jesus slowly and surely start to change your heart and convince you. I want to, I have to and I get to love one another.
Now, all this kind of reminds me of the story of the man who nearly beat the horse to death.,
True story, way back in the early 1800s. There were two burly Englishmen who were driving their horses up to a steep road in England. The horses were dragging some carts filled with coal and one of the horses slipped.
This big burly dude, snaps, his version of English road rage. He starts to kick the horse, swear at the horse, yell at the horse, beat the horse until an old man like this short, kind of twisted sickly looking old man intervenes. He steps in front of the horse and he starts, lecturing the burly dude.
Who's this guy?
The burly Englishman gets even angrier. He decides to redirect his road rage from the horse to the man. He's about to let this little man have it.
When his co-worker. rushes over and whisper something in his ear and the man instantly changes.
He takes a deep breath. He resists his rage.
And he speaks with kindness to this man and starts to help instead of hurt his own horse.
Whispered a name.
It was the name of the old man he was about to scream at. I'll show you a picture of who it was. It was William Wilberforce.
Now, if you're not in to history, you might not know that William Wilberforce is one of the greatest Global Heroes of the past 300 years. He fought incessantly to end the English slave trade. He gave up most of his life. He was incredibly gifted, incredibly wealthy, but he, he fought not for a little bit, not for a few years. But for decades, sacrificing his comfort and everything to rescue people who were caught in slavery. And when it finally ended in the English Empire, William Wilberforce became an influencer, immensely famous. He was respected, and he was revered, because he had sacrificed so much.
And when that man whispered Wilberforce his name into his ear, he knew. He knew there was only one good way to respond.
And to me, this is what Christianity is. Or we're tempted to give people what they deserve to do. What we want to follow our own heart. But before we get there the Holy Spirit whispers a better name, the name that is above every name, THE name, Jesus.
And we take a deep breath and we look up to the heavens at the God who loves us, forgives us, saves us, is patient with us, merciful to us and we know exactly what to do when we open our eyes. To love people.
So dear friends, can I ask? What has God been saying to you today?
Is there some situation where you've been a little bit Gnostic? That God shoving you? No, you ought to you need to you have to. It's difficult. No doubt. This is what I'm calling you to love one another.
Um, is it the guilty feeling that you've messed up so many times?
John says, so clearly you are a dear friend because God so loved us or do you just need the motivation to go back home and be a little more patient? They're more kind a little bit more selfless. Well John can help with that too since God so loved us. We also ought to love one another.
I don't, it's really difficult. But real love is really good.
So, my hope, my prayer today is that the God of love may fill you with love. So that you and I just like Jesus. Love each other deeply.
