Trending - Week 4 - The CORE - Pastor Mike Novotny
Trending
Week 4 The CORE
Pastor Mike Novotny
Hey, we're tackling tough topics: complex topics, emotional, and personal topics. You're just jumping into this series. We tackled “Science is real”, “God told me” how to know God is speaking to you “Be You” was last week is that true? Not true a little bit true. Love true. And today we're tackling the phrase “Love Is Love”.
A few years ago. I went to a wedding and got to eat dinner next to the woman that I love. And across from two men who were in love and as we ate together and talk together and got to know each other a little bit into the conversation, this thought, struck me. These guys are just like me and Kim.
The one guy was definitely the outgoing of the couple. He was a storyteller, a talker. He was passionate sometimes funny. Sometimes inappropriate a lot like me like, oh I can really did this guy one minute. He says something that cracks you up the other minute. Oh, you're gonna cringing like yeah. I've been there, that's me and and his partner was all like my wife, my more quiet, but you can tell obviously intelligent and compassionate. Caring in one dinner. You can only get to know so much about a couple. But from what I could tell these men cared about each other. They care deeply for each other and they were committed to each other. Their loves was so much like our love and I think that's where that phrase comes from “Love Is Love”. If you love a gay couple in your family, or at work, if this is your relational story, when you see that kind of love up close when it's not just a headline or something, you heard in the church growing up, but you see two people of the same sex who deeply loved each other. You just can't escape the fact that they have so much in common with the rest of us, a generation or two ago. When most people who are gay were in the closet. This was really hard to see.
Are just rumors and with your pastor, or your priest told you. But now that culture has changed that people freely come out that in our families, and among our friends, the people we work with and go to school with their openly gay people. We get to see it up close. I don't think you can avoid the reality, the couple's, no matter what their gender have so much in common. Like there's love and affection here with the straight couple. And you can see, love and affection here with a gay couple. You can see arguments about parenting and chores and sex over here with this couple and you'll find the same thing with that couple.
If an amazingly committed straight couples and amazingly committed gay couples, you will see trainwrecks of marriages and relationships over here. Just like you will over there. Take the gender out of it. And you understand where the phrase comes from? It's not that different. “Love Is Love”. And I think that's why things have changed, not just in the world, but so much of the church. Even people who believe in God, who love Jesus, who care about his word, many of you. It's just a different time that we live in. We've seen it up close and it's hard to have any kind of judgment besides just saying, well, “love is love”.
How about a chance over the past few years to do some Q&A sections on Christianity and sexuality with local high school students. And I just sense as the years go by, in this semester's grow that they're exposed to more and more people who are of the same sex, who deeply care for each other are committed to each other and love each other. And so the question comes out, Pastor isn't love just love. Should we be more concerned about you know selfish spouses and unfaithful spouses than spouses who love each other and are just of the same gender. It's a great question before we just say, Amen to Love Is Love. I suggest something that I think is really logical. I think you believe it, but I'm not sure if you've specifically thought about it. If you're taking notes in your program here, you're watching at home taking notes. Here's what I think that you believe and you can tell me if it's true. I think that when we say “Love Is Love” what we actually mean is. “Love Is Love. With an asterisk.” I don't think any of you here today or if you watching at home, actually think that as long as there's affection, and as long as there is commitment, and as long as there's desire, that makes something without terms or conditions. Absolutely, okay?
Agree with me. If you think infidelity is bad. You're adding an asterisk to love.
All right, is here like if your sister was cheating on her husband and she said, but I'm attracted to this guy who lives next door and he's attracted to me back. We both love each other and are committed to each other. You probably won't say, well love is love. No, you would come in and you would judge their love and you'd say well that you might feel it but that doesn't make it right if it's not humble and selfless and obedient to God, you would add an asterisk to her love. If you're at a new story or saw on Facebook that and an eighth grade middle school girl was dating her 48 year old social studies teacher.
You probably wouldn't put in the comment section. Love Is Love. He's like, no, no, like even if they're both committed, even if they bought feel it, even if it's mutual and consensual, you would come in with an outside sand and say, oh, yeah, but not all love is good. Love. Are there some cultures in the world today? Where a man has multiple wives or not? So secret mistress and you would come in with your understanding of sexual morality and say, well they he might think that's okay, but I don't think that's okay.
Agree with that. We all instinctively are putting an asterisk. We have terms and conditions and limits on what makes love and affection, good, or bad, moral or immoral, something to be applauded and embraced and something to be changed in repentance. And if you agree with that, and I hope you do. There's a big question. You have to answer for yourself.
Who defines the asterisk?
But if it's true, that what I feel, doesn't make something instinctively, right? Whose moral standard about relationships and marriage, and sexuality will be the thing with which I judge other couples. Because it's not the same in a culture that I live in what people care about is mutual consent, love and commitments, right? That's my culture. But not every culture in the world believes that There's some cultures were a man will have multiple wives and you're going to say, well that's bad and he's going to look at you and say no, you're bad. Who's asterisk is right? Did you know right now on planet Earth like 2020s planet Earth? There are girls who have not hit puberty yet. We're being given in marriage to middle-aged men. And I hope you would say like I would, that's bad.
But their culture would look back at us and say no you're bad. Some cultures would look at gay couples and say that's bad. But many gay couples would look at other cultures and say no you're bad. We all have this asterisk that we're opposing imposing on each other. And so the question is, who. Who defines the limits? Is it you and me and the culture, we currently live in, is it like the global survey that decides, what's overall, good or bad, who is to decide for us? And our hearts were the line is when it comes to love.
Because my answer for you today, write this down, I believe that God is the only one to define the asterisk because God is love. I'd heard that before the, it's a Bible passage first. John chapter 4. I think it's verse 19. God himself is love. God is the perfect example, of whatever comes out of God's heart, out of God's word. It has to be love because God by his very nature is love. He's not a little bit of love and a little bit of hates some lights and some Darkness. Well, some good, but a mixture with a little bit of bad. Know he is equal sign love. So whatever God looks at whether it's my culture or another culture this generation or a previous one, whatever God says about it. It has to be good and it has to be good for us because God can't be anything but
That's what I want to do with you today. I'm going to open up the Bible and see what this God of love says about love. What does he say to straight people? What does he say to gay people? Whenever God says, out of that word. It has to be good and it has to be good for you because God is love. So today we're going to celebrate the goodness of the love of God. We're going to allow him to define the asterisk and we're going to move forward now with fear or regret or apology, but with confidence because the god of love speaks only things that are filled with love.
So I want to take this teaching today from a letter that the Apostle Paul wrote to the Ephesians chapter 5. I'm going to jump around in the chapter. But here's how the chapter starts. Follow God's example. Therefore as dearly loved children. And walk in the way of love, just as Jesus Christ, loved us and gave himself up for us, as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Those verses set the stage. What does God want you to do? Two commands, follow his example. And walk in the way of love.
Whatever. God is saying to you. Hey, I'm walking this way following his footsteps because if he is love, then wherever he leads, you must be the path of love. And if you said well, that might be hard God. Why would I do that? I love where Paul goes. He says, Hey, follow God's example because you are dearly loved children. Follow Jesus because Jesus loved us and gave himself up for us as an offering and sacrifice to God. Paul starting the chapter with what we would call identity. Who are you? Paul says to the Ephesians, You're not male-female. You're not gay straight at the deepest part of your heart. If you follow, Jesus, this is who you are. Dearly loved children. A part of God's family. You're the ones that Jesus died for and forgave sacrificed himself, it cost him everything but he wanted to give you everything forever in the presence of God. This is your identity. So now this is your activity. Walking, the way of love.
But that won't be so easy for the Ephesians. Do you know much about Ephesian culture?
How many of you have heard of the seven wonders of the ancient world that ring a bell from back in the day, you know, one of the seven wonders of the ancient world was the temple in Ephesus dedicated to the goddess. Artemis. She was the goddess of fertility. In the Greek world. I have a little statue of Artemis that I got. An assets actually had in a sermon a few years ago. But the people at time, agree said it was inappropriate because Artemis is topless.
And she is known as many breasted Artemis. So I did bring the statue today. Want to keep it clean for the kids. But her Temple. Her massive Temple was one of the 7 biggest deals of the entire ancient world. Visiting her Temple joining a prostitute was just part of what the culture did, what they considered, good and acceptable love. And if Artemis at Ephesus wasn't bad enough, the problem with being in a fission was the fact that you were likely Roman.
Do anything about Roman sexuality? What they would have defined as good or bad, a chance to research that, you know, what would have been aligned in ancient Roman culture and this is what they would have said, love and sexuality is good. If a man dominates
Like I think a Fidelity to my wife or selflessness to my wife. The Romans did not think like that. The Roman said you can sleep with however many people you want. Whoever they want. Whatever gender you want whatever age you want. As long as you are a dominance Roman man, that is what is good. Love.
So you can do your own research, but Roman husband might wake up. Give his wife a kiss on the cheek in bed. Stop at the Temple of Artemis on the way to work sleep with a prostitute. He'd have an underage boy that he'd be sexually active with he'd have household servants male and female that would please him sexually. Then he crawled back into his bed with his wife. Give her a kiss on the cheek and say I love you, honey. And the Romans would not have said. Oh my goodness. You are a scumbag. They would have said.
“Love Is Love.”
And God said,
No, no, I know that's what the Romans do. I know this is what the Ephesians do. But if you're a dearly love child of God, that's not what I want you to do. I've got a specific Paul gets in the very next verse has still a fusions 5 he says but among you you dearly loved children of God. There must not even be a hint of sexual immorality.
Because these are improper for God's holy people. There's the identity again instead. What should you do? Find out what pleases the Lord? If you're a member of God's family, find out what your father wants. If this God of love loved you so much that he gave his only son and that son loved you so much that he gave his one and only life. And let's now look at the Romans out there or the Roman in here to Define. What's good or bad? Let's look to the God. Who is always an absolutely. Love. Remember, who you are.
Process. Even if it's really hard to remember who you are. You are a holy child of a Holy Father in heaven.
And then with that Foundation, the Apostle Paul gets to relationships. You may know Ephesians 5 is often used at weddings to talk about the vows that we take, what they look like and this is how that section ends last verses of Ephesians 5 says for this reason. A man will leave his father and mother and be United to his wife and the two will become one flesh.
This is a profound mystery, but I'm talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself and the wife must respect. Her husband.
What's good? Love to God. Oh Paul's, pretty clear. He says they're two people, not three people or four, people are many people in the marriage bed. Just two people. And these two people love and respect each other. It's it's, they're calling, they walk in the way of love and as they do. So this is somehow connected to Jesus and his people Jesus and his church. Just like Jesus loves his church and the church respects him and Praises him. So also these two people love respect and praise each other. That is with a god of love looks down from heaven. And says,
That's love. What does this mean for us today? You and I do not live in the shadow of Artemis of the Ephesians. This is not ancient Ephesus. I'm preaching this message in modern America. What what? Takeaways from Ephesians 5. Can we take away? How to see through things. First, I want to talk about identity. Number two. I want to talk about homosexuality. And number three, I want to talk about heterosexuality. I will start with identity. The Bible is absolutely convinced that your identity. The most important thing about you is not your relationship status.
It's not your sexual orientation. What matters most about you? Is your connection to Jesus?
The Bible actually rarely rarely rarely speaks of sexual orientation and comes up a bit but not much what the Bible constantly talks about when it talks to Christians is who you are because of Jesus.
Like how we identify, what we need, deep down for happiness. Joy, and a life. That matters a life. That's worth living. It's not who you're dating. It's not, whether you're married or not. It's not whether you have kids or Happy Family, the Bible, condenses the most important thing about you into your connection to God.
You heard it a few times in this chapter dearly loved children. Find out what pleases the Lord because you are his holy do what's proper and pleasing to him because this God Made You Holy by the blood of his son.
The Bible is absolutely convinced when it talks about relationships and husbands, and wives and sexuality that what we need at the end of the day, is not him or her, or it. What we need is God. And if we have God,
If at the beginning and end of every day, I can wake up and say I am a dearly loved child of God. I can look in the mirror and instead of feeling shame and guilt and regret. I can see someone who is Holy because of the Holy Blood of Jesus on the cross. If I can see. That know that think that I have a rock-solid identity that makes my life worth living. Identity. A to talk about homosexuality,
What is the Ephesians 5 and the rest of the scripture have to say about that?
If it's true, as we've talked about that the commitment and the passion and the affection can be equal here with a gay couple and here with a straight couple. What does God was got say about that. Last night, I asked my wife, a question about what I should say right now in the sermon. And her answer was. I don't know what you're going to do with, that is what I said to her. I said. I have known and loved so many people. Both straight and gay and bisexual. That just giving like some quick write this down. Yes./No answer just doesn't seem right.
In my experience. People like, you aren't just saying, pastor. Just tell me? Yes or no. There's so many things connected to the idea of sexuality like, If I didn't choose this, if my sister didn't choose this, if I don't wake up one day and decide to be gave, this is just who I been how I'm oriented. How and are we really supposed to judge other people? I mean, is that repressing a desire that is within you like sabotaging your own life, robbing you of Happiness? Why would we care about these bigger things like fidelity and commitments? You can't talk about sexuality without like a big long discussion. And so, part of me says, we need to have a big long discussion. And part of me says, this isn't a sermon series but a single sermon and you probably want an answer.
So I asked my wife to break the tie and she said,
What you gonna do with that? So, I don't know if this is the right way to do it. But here's how I'm going to do it a few years ago. When I got to this church. We had a four-week sermon series called Gay and God. It's a cold, all the Since I just mentioned and so many more and time of Grace, our ministry partner turned that sermon series into this. Little book is super short. You could probably read it in 45 minutes. Time of Grace has donated 100 free copies that are waiting for you in the lobby. And so if this is an issue that you want Clarity on, what does the Bible say? Don't just give me a quick answer. Answer my questions. This is for you for free. I want to grab one on your way, out to your car. And if you're watching at home on Time of Grace is also agreed to make the digital version of this book absolutely free on their website. So if you got a Time of Grace just type in game God you're gonna be able to download this and read it. If we run out of copies here today, those of you who are here live can do that, too.
We're going to walk through the history of the church homophobia Bible passages like Romans 1 First Corinthians 6, Strife, Sodom and Gomorrah. First Timothy chapter one. We're gonna look at Genesis 2, we're going to answer all those. What about questions. How does God want us to live? What is this look like? What if you can't change your own, sexual desires? All of that is here. And I really need you to know that to be able to respond, biblically to the phrase. “Love Is Love.”
But I also don't want to dodge the question.
So, if you ask me to summarize what this book says. It would be this.
Our God of love loves the whole world. But he does not say that gay. Love Is Good. Love?
I know it's hard for some of you to here. But biblically and historically and the Christian church. This has been the consistent message. You can't read any passage in the Bible that applause. The sexual love a man has for a man.
If you'd open your Bibles to Romans chapter 1 through 3, you would find just the opposite. God saying to the first century people even though it's very cultural even though it's very natural. That doesn't make it good. God has limits.
So is it okay? Even if there's commitments and Fidelity, the biblical answer is no, it is not. It is a natural desire that needs to be submitted at the feet of Jesus to remain in his love means to obey his Commandments. You cannot hold onto your sexuality as your identity and still end up with Jesus in the end.
Your hands. Humble yourself. And trust that The God Who Says these words is not bad. Even this party is so, so good.
Number three. What's God saying about heterosexuality?
Answer. A lot. In fact, by word counts, God is speaking to people like me.
Much more than he's speaking to some of you.
What is he saying? Husband's bookshelf hands were my husband's at. Yeah, that's was here today. Husbands. Love your wives.
So clear. So good. And so hard. Husbands be like, Jesus is what this chapter says, Jesus gave him. So he sacrificed his very life to be a blessing to his bride. The church husband's love like that. Like take your schedule, your preferences, your opinions, your things that you would like to do and just put them so secondary that the woman that you are married to just feels at the end of every day.
That she matters more. Like the average be the third string JV running back. If you can be a first string boyfriend, beat a guy who doesn't get promoted because you've been promoted in your wife's mind for the things you do at home. But whatever you have to sacrifice, whatever you have to change to make her at the end of the day. Say, I'm so glad he chose me. Husbands, love your wives. Guys, this means we have some work to do. You know, it's so common. You make a commitment, you say your vows. There's the sweet words and then life.
And there's work and there's demands and you're tired, and you have kids, and then you realize, you thought you were tired before. Now, you're really, really tired, right? Then you have twins and then you then you need to find tired, right? Then you kind of get into that habit where you work and she works and there's the kids and there's the dinner and then you just, you just sit down and you can both pull out your phones.
And you repeat and that's marriage. Mmm. Paul says, Ah, this that's not love. What love is a man seeking his bride like Jesus seeks the church. Come here who humbles himself and gives up everything Like Jesus does for the church. I mean, he says, my greatest goal in life is to serve God first and to love you next, let the boss be disappointed. Let the guys I play softball with miss me that night because I want to be with you and make you feel like such a gift in a priority. Like Christians feel when they hear the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Guys, if you're feeling like I am, And if you're sitting next to the woman that you love, here's what I want you to do right now. Don't be embarrassed. I want you to take your hand. And I want you to put it on her leg.
If the kids are sitting in between you, this is the awkward part of the service. All right, and I just want that. I just want that touch to be a commitments that. I want to do this better. I can't go back. I can't change the decisions that I've made. But today as I'm shaped by the love of God. I want to walk in the way of love. I want to be good to you.
Ladies, your turn for my wives that today. Whole bunch of you here today. Do you know what is one of the most beautiful things in the world? When a man who's gotten beat up by life?
Walks to the door of his house.
And feels respect.
Like, no man is happy without respect at home.
No, man, feels good. If the boss loves him and he's driving a fancy car and he brings home a 12-point buck in the fall. If he's walking home to disrespect. Lady. Have one of the most beautiful jobs that the Bible begins in Paradise With God. Looking at a man. Who is Holy and perfect and saying, Not good enough. It's not good for him to be alone. When he needs is a woman and I will create her to be a helper, and it will be this beautiful beautiful thing. When you put that together, husband and wife, love and respect. That is wind in your husband sails. So, can I ask you to return the favor? Ladies? Can you put your hand on his hand? And just say, you know, honey, whatever I have to change or do. I don't want the kids to grow up feeling like they got everything, but Mom and Dad were fighting like you. You matter to me, I want to make you feel like Jesus feels when the church praises him. I don't want love to be something in the past when we weren't so busy. Like I want to stop doing things. I don't have to do, I want to be out the average and mediocre there because I want to be so good right here because the Bible knows that if a husband and wife love and honor, each other life is so good. They are a glimpse of Jesus and his church, the most important thing in the universe. So, I guess if you've been listening the point of my sermon, is this
Love is hard. If you're gay to take your sexuality and lay it at the foot of Jesus so hard. And if you're straight and you're a sinner and she's a sinner, you're trying to be like Jesus. That's hard. There's no easy path, whatever your orientation to walk in the way of love. It wasn't for the Ephesians. It's not for us today. And this is why I think the Apostle Paul wrote this chapter the way he did.
There she knows what shows up in these verses even more than this high standard of Holiness for you is forgiveness.
I want to go back to a passage from Ephesians chapter 5 because here's what Paul said we touched on some of these verses before but look at what he adds. He says walk in the way of love. Just as Christ, loved us and gave himself up for us, as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God and lies that phrase who gets more attention.
Jesus. Yeah, here's what you should do. Walk in the way of love. But now, let me tell you about, Jesus. Jesus loved us. He loved the Ephesians when they were visiting a shrine prostitutes at the Temple of Artemis when their relationships were a wreck, and their hearts needed to be changed. He loved them, just like he loves you. And he gave himself up for people, gay people, straight people bisexual people as a sacrifice. He loves people who are so sexually backwards, so much that he sacrificed his one and only life on the cross. That's love.
And then possibly stars and says, husband's, love your wives. Okay, we're done with you. Not talk about Jesus just as Christ loved the church. That's beautiful. Paul you done. Mmm, and Christ gave himself up for the church to make her holy. Jesus makes us. Holy. Wow. That's beautiful ball. Amen. Wait, I'm not done. He says, I'm cleansing her by the washing with water through the word. Have you been baptized when you're cleansed and beautiful clean in the sight of God? That's beautiful. Paul you done yet? No. That's on. And Jesus did all this to present the church to himself as a Radiant Church, you know, if you believe in Jesus, that's what you are.
Broken. I've not damage the dirty radiance in the eyes of God, I'd say Amen, to that impulses, stop interrupting me. He says a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish but holy and blameless, whatever the desires of your heart. If you come to Jesus in Repentance, this is what you get. Radiant, in the eyes of God. A part in his holy family. You take your pornography, your infidelity, your adultery, your homosexuality, your selfishness, in marriage. You bring it to Jesus, and this is what you get.
Friends, I think this is why Paul will not feel bad for you.
If you're in a hard marriage right now and he's just impossible to respect. He doesn't. Use the words. And if you're married to a woman, there's been stuff said and decisions made and you feel like 8th on her list, but Paul doesn't feel bad for you. And if you're gay and you're gonna have to resist that desire for the rest of your life, Paul's and saying poured you here's what he's saying. You get God.
When you walk in the way of love, you end up. With God. Where else would you want to walk? You get the God who makes you, holy? Well, you're gonna choose a temporary relationship. No, I'm choosing the relationship that lasts forever. You want to be with someone who loves you, some days. Well, and other days, not I'm going to choose the God who loves me. Well, every day you're going to be with someone who might leave. You my forsake. You might divorce. You my grow distant from you. I'm Gonna Be With The God Who said, I will never do that to you. I will never leave. You never forsake. You my love will never diminish. I will keep my vow until death. Do us join. And so Paul says, I'm feeling bad for anyone. If you're a Christian.
Good God. That's what I call the teenagers.
And I get to these Q&A sessions on game god with some local high school students. Am I sensing or questions that they wondered? If this was really a good teaching? They start to understand what the Bible says, but is it really good thing? Is that fair of God to say that to us? Don't follow your heart, sir, desire to be obedient to his commands. A passage popped into my head, though. The last time I did this.
It's a pretty sure one, a story that Jesus told that began and ended in a single verse. And when I ended with this verse, I walked out of that classroom saying, God is so good. Here's the verse Jesus. Once said, the kingdom of heaven. Being with God, the king. Is like treasure hidden in a field? When a man found it, he hit it again. And then in his Joy went and sold all that he had and bought that field.
I get it. He sold everything. He had everything that used to make him. Happy everything that he loved. He got rid of all of it. And how did he feel about it in his? Joy. Wait, how can you give up everything you have until good about it? Here's Jesus is answer. You can feel like that if you can find a better. Treasured. My friends, Jesus will take a little bit from you. But he will offer you a better treasure. He will offer you his father in Heaven. He will give you a God. Who is love. So, whatever you need to repent of whatever, you need to change, whatever you have to give up, whatever you have to sell. You can do it today with joy because God is love. And that means that God's love. Is the best love?
I pray to God. Thank you so much for your unconditional love other times when we read this book and we have to wonder if it's good.
Feel so hard sometimes feels impossible to follow and to obey but if you set it and you are the same God, It has to be good. If you're The God, who loved Jacob, despite his many sexual partners, your word must be good. You're the God who loved Mary? Even though she was no one from this little town. You must be good. If you're the god of Moses, who forgave a murderer then God you must be good. You are the same God. And that's why today we preach this without apology. But instead with confidence and joy.
I got repentance is never the wrong move. Following your commands never leaves us with less love. It just connects us to The God Who is love and who has plans to love us eternally.
Father, I know there are people right here in this church right here in this room. We've been bearing, the burden of same-sex attraction for years of their lives. They did not make a mistake. And one day, when they see your face and you are smiling upon them because they were connected to Jesus. They will know it in the depth of their soul. I got their people here who can't wait till this message is over. They think it's hateful, bigoted, backwards and homophobic. God. I can't. I can't change their minds, but you can. Open their eyes to think not less of a sacrifice that it is to follow Jesus. But more of the Jesus who sacrificed himself. Help them to grasp the height, and width, and depth of his love that, it would seem like a better treasure. The obvious choice to give up whatever this world can offer. So that their soul is once and for all connected to you. I finally got it. I pray that this church could be like Jesus.
Jesus, who never compromised his love for people. He loved everyone. And Jesus would never compromise his commitment to your will. Help us to be both Grace and Truth. 200 proof without watering a single thing down because we believe that beyond our culture and beyond our own hearts. There is you and you are loved. I pray these things that I was faith of confidence and we Joy because we pray this in Jesus name, God's people who agreed. I'll join their voices and they said, amen.
